Weight Gain & The Shame It Brings

Talking about weight gain is second nature to me. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable, and I don’t believe it should ever be a reason to judge a person. Like me, do you ever wonder why weight gain has become such a shameful part of life?

In 2017, the Australian Bureau of Statistics showed that two thirds (67%) of Australians were overweight or obese (roughly 12 million people). Weight gain is happening, it’s there. I don’t think anyone ever doubted that, but if 12 million Australians are overweight or obese, why is weight gain still so awkward to speak about? Why does the topic of weight gain still make people cringe?

We all know it occurs due to overindulgence and inactivity (this does not include medical reasons), and we all know someone who is overweight - so why can’t we just talk about it?We also know that weight gain is a very normal part of life, because LIFE GETS IN THE WAY. We can’t talk about it because indulging in the foods we love and a lack of exercise is something that is now looked down upon. “Omg, how can you eat that much?” “Wow, I would be sick if I ate that”, these are just a couple of lines that I hear in my own life that have been directed at me. It’s like people have started pretending that a burger dipped in cheese with bacon sprinkled over the top wouldn’t be delicious, or that eating chicken and broccoli is sustainable over a 30 year period. I believe being overweight has become so shameful because of peoples preconceived ideas of weight gain like; gaining 10kgs means you only eat cheesy potatoes (iykyk), or you have a diet similar to people on ‘My 600LB Life’.

Here’s the thing though... weight gain is very normal. It’s normal to sacrifice your diet in stressful stages of your life, or put everything into your job and forget about your health. Sure, maybe it’s not the best thing to do but that’s life. Diet and exercise can’t always come first for every single person, and I truly believe that if weight gain didn’t have so much shame attached to it, people would be more inclined to accept/deal with it. I know that if I gained 40kgs+, I’d feel ashamed to seek help - because I’d be scared of the judgement from all the assholes out there. I’d find it much easier to brush it off as a medical issue, and accept my obesity as part of my identity.

WHAT IF weight gain didn’t bring so much shame and guilt? Picture this... you’re at lunch with friends and you say “I’ve put on some weight, so I’m going to make some diet changes and really need your support”, and your mate says “good on you, I’d love to go for daily walks with you if it helps”. Instead of your friends all shouting over the top of you, exclaiming that you’re “perfect and have nothing to worry about”. Rather than going home and dealing with the shame of knowing your friends felt too uncomfortable to talk you about weight, you get to go home knowing you’re supported. Again, I’d feel much more motivated to tackle lifestyle change with the support of my friends, instead of tackling it alone while my friends convince me not to because I’m “perfect the way I am”.

Sadly, that’s just a what if for most people. Now, I’m not writing this to say it should be okay to tell your friends they’ve gained weight, and jump on a body shaming bandwagon. I am writing this to highlight how much easier life would be if weight wasn’t such an uncomfortable topic for so many people. I just can’t imagine having a client come to me and tell me they’d like to change their lifestyle, and me going quiet and telling them they’re perfect. You know what I do instead when someone tells me they want to lose weight? I say “it’s awesome that you want to make changes, even that is a huge step”. You know what I do when someone tells me why they’ve gained weight, instead of staring at the floor? I look them in the eye, and tell them it’s totally normal, and maintaining our weight can’t always come first.

I guess the reason I wanted to talk so much about the uncomfortable topic of weight gain, is because it doesn’t have to be this way. It doesn’t have to be a conversation that makes people awkwardly sip their coffee, or look at the ground. Something we need to accept is that weight gain is a very normal part of life for a lot of people, and something else that is normal is taking measures to lose that weight. Wanting to change your physique doesn’t mean you agree with body shaming, or you that you think overweight people should feel ashamed. It simply means that you have identified a problem in your own lifestyle, and want to take the necessary steps to changing it.

I’m begging you for one thing - stop making weight gain such an awkward and offensive topic of conversation. Stop associating weight loss with fat shaming, and calorie tracking with disordered eating. Let your loved ones want to take care of their health, because as long as you lie, overweight/obese people will feel shame for the way they look.