Motivation or discipline?

I sit here writing this in the time I would usually spend at the gym, following the program I spent hours writing for myself, setting an example for my clients.

In all honesty, I haven't trained consistently in three weeks, and probably won't for another week. As a PT, I can take a step back and acknowledge what's happening and admit to myself that training isn't a priority but I'll be able to jump back on the horse soon. The reason I'm writing this is because I don't feel as though social media provides an honest enough representation of training and nutrition.

The fact is, motivation isn't what you need to keep up with your exercise, it's discipline. Another fact is, I don't have any discipline right now and that's why I've let my habits and routine slip away. You see, motivation is a fleeting feeling and we've all experienced that game changing motivation that leads to you buying new activewear, looking up gyms in your area and trying to drag a friend along with you. We've all also felt that motivation slip away, and become just another attempt at getting fit.

So I guess that's what I'm doing, letting you know that even a PT (whose job is to motivate people to take care of their health) with a gym in her garage loses motivation and discipline every now and then. Losing that flow of training happens because of a few reasons, but the biggest one is setting unrealistic goals from the word go. I always tell my clients to set goals they can commit to, rather than just setting themselves up for failure. So in losing my flow of training, I realised I had broken my golden rule. I set myself unrealistic goals, with stupidly unrealistic timelines and now I sit here defeated, struggling to muster up the discipline and drive to start again.

So to the person that asked me if there as something wrong with them, because they struggled to stay motivated, there is nothing wrong with YOU. There is something wrong with the standards you set yourself, or the identity you're trying to create. Hear me out...

You probably had a rush of motivation that led to you deciding to start training and making better nutritional choices, or you woke up one day and decided you wanted to be fitter. What happened after this is where you likely went wrong. Inside is sitting down and writing down your schedule and prior commitments, you danced around the house with the thought of training 5 days a week and losing 10kgs in 6 weeks. You found your macro goal, but failed to break it down into micro goals and see if it would fit. Instead of acknowledging that you have failed at creating this new identity in the past, and pinpointing the obstacles you faced, you got into torpedo position and went head first into the deep end. So no, there is nothing wrong with you, only with your standards. You're not staying motivated because you're not reaching unrealistic goals, so rather than changing your goals to suit your lifestyle you're just giving up completely and letting a small failure be your identity. Again, there is nothing wrong with you. You're a human being who's emotions, wants and needs change constantly. How bad can your motivation really be? I bet you're not a PT with a garage gym who still finds a reason they can't train.

I'm not just going to leave you with a stupid joke, I'm going to give you some real advice. Advice that I would give a friend.

1. Understand that you don't need motivation, you need discipline. Motivation comes and goes. Acknowledge that motivation isn't going to keep you going for the rest of your life, and if you keep waiting for it to come back you'll have wasted too much time already.

2. Make your goals work with your lifestyle. If you're middle aged, and have given birth 3 times, don't set goals like having toned legs or a 6 pack. I'm not saying you can't achieve those things as a mother, but if you set goals that have you throwing in the towel after a week then they're not the right ones. Start with something small like exercising 2 times in one week, or learning how to skateboard. Goals don't have to be so fancy and big, it's more about the habits that get you closer to them.

3. Create a realistic identity. Don't aspire to be the prepubescent Influencer or 100kg man who is throwing around a 250kg bar like a toilet roll, aspire to be the best version of yourself. Sounds really cheesy, I know, but it's true. There is no point aspiring to be 18 again with photoshopped glutes, especially when being a mother of 3 who trains consistently is way cooler.

I hope this advice doesn't fall on deaf ears, because your outlook really does change when you realise motivation won't get you anywhere in life, discipline will. That's not to say discipline doesn't dwindle (mine does), but just acknowledge that getting up every single day and doing the same things to reach your goals is a lot harder than that exciting rush of motivation.

Motivation isn't the key, and it never will be. PT's, bodybuilders, business owners and whoever else aren't fueled by motivation. They are fueled by discipline which isn't easy to come by.

Your coach & friend,

Maddy